Often we don’t know what to say or do for grieving parents. July is designated as bereaved parents awareness month. It’s a time for supporting friends and family who have experienced the loss of a pregnancy.
We talk to Lucille Neely who is an RN in Labor and Delivery at Covenant Women’s and Children’s hospital. She knows what women go through when they lose their child during pregnancy. “In my life the personal loss was many many years ago but it’s still very real.”
Many women feel guilty and fell as though they did something wrong to lose their pregnancy. Neely tells us, “a woman can’t do anything to cause or prevent a miscarriage, if it’s happening it’s going to happen.” At Covenant, Memory boxes are made for every mother who loses their baby in utero. It’s not something that one person can do, “there are countless people in our community who donate to help make this process a reality. we provide a memory box for every mom who loses a baby.”
Depending on the gestational age of the child, they can do a stuffed animal and educational information for a mother to hold on to if it is before the 12 week gestational age. But if the baby is 20 weeks or more, they can do hand and footprints in a memory book, locks of hair, a stuffed animal, blanket, photos, a bible, and even a burial gown. Many of those gowns made from wedding dresses that have been donated.
Neely says, “sometimes if it’s a miscarriage, maybe all we can provide that mom is some information on a support group and literature to help her get through the grieving process.”
The important thing to remember is that even though it’s the loss of a pregnancy, it’s still a loss.
Speaking from experience Neely says, “your grief is normal and how you are grieving is normal, please don’t let anyone tell you it’s time to be over it.
People have a stigma with miscarriages and things if someone has the loss of an adult it’s very normal for people to bring food and do for families, but with this the situation seems different and you feel afraid. these families have experienced a loss so treat them like anyone else who has suffered a loss.”
If you need more information visit the following Facebook pages. Hope Mommies West Texas Chapter and Pregnancy & Infant Loss Association of Lubbock – PILA Lubbock. They can provide a support group of other women who are going through the same situation.
